Day Three - Cole & Amanda

Bio: Amanda is tied with my friend Stuart as longest friend (both since age 5). She lived down the street from me and we spent many hours of childhood playing at each other's houses, torturing our pets, bouncing on the trampoline and cheating our siblings at cards. (Note-despite many attempts, neither of us is actually very good at cheating.) We've stayed friends throughout the years, (she even forgave me for ruining her attempt to be nicknamed Mandy in fifth grade). It was a pleasant surprise in high school when one of my closest friends, Cole, started dating her. Cole is great with people, energetic and a natural charmer. So it was a bit of a surprise when he suddenly decided to become an engineer. (But Cole, you like people!) Despite his profession, he's still fun to be around. He grew up in the wastelands of Texas (Lubbock), but he found suburban Edmond to be a nice fit, and he and Amanda live here still.

Amanda is REALLY pregnant right now, due in like a week. So this is probably my last opportunity to spend quality time with them before they officially become parents.

Third Day Challenge: "Since July 3 is a Sunday and you will be off for the 4th, we thought it would be fun for you to camp out in our backyard in a tent. You may arrive at 7:00 pm and must camp until 7:00 am. If Paisley (soon-to-be-born-baby) arrives before this, we will change the day or you can camp at my sister's."

First reaction: Yay! This will be fun. I'm looking forward to this. Camping could be really, really hot, but it will be a great chance to spend quality time with Cole and Amanda. And even though it will be hot as blazes, I only have to be out there during the coolest part of the day. I haven't camped out in a backyard since elementary school, so this will be a chance to revisit childhood.

Day Two Recap

It was a great relief to have a worthy but not strenuous challenge for today. Day One's challenge exhausted me!

If you read the challenge literally, I probably should only have written the letter IF my room was already organized. And when I went to bed Friday night, I intended to do a lot of cleaning on Saturday.

But that didn't happen. I had time to run some errands and go to an improv class that I really enjoy going to, and then I started work on the challenge. I picked my 7th and 8th grade English teacher Mrs. Kennedy, because she was a fantastic teacher, because that was when I first started to notice my interests heading more to English than other subjects, and most of all, because Mrs. Kennedy taught me everything I ever needed to know about grammar. We spent two years in her class diagramming sentences left and right, learning about grammar and practicing good structure until it was in our blood. I literally learned nothing new about grammar in all of high school English classes. It wasn't until my junior year of college when I took a Advanced Grammar class that I learned some new stuff, and it was all theory (yuck!).

I wrote my letter telling her how awesome she was as a teacher, but the hard part proved to be finding an address for her. I haven't seen her since spring 1995, 16 years ago. I know she left Edmond a few years after I had her, and I thought I'd heard she moved to Hawaii. I called my friend Amanda (who can find ANYONE on facebook/internet) and she informed me Mrs. Kennedy moved to Dallas, not Hawaii. She was working on an address but wasn't able to locate one.

I did my own google search, but got nothing. So, since Shane and Anna's challenge specifically stated I should drop the letter in the mail that same day, I carried the letter out to the mailbox, dropped it in, then picked it up and brought it back inside. So I'm still waiting to see if I can find an address for her. If you know of a current address for Lauren Kennedy, former (and possibly still) English teacher, please let me know!

Here she is in 1995.

Day Two - Shane & Anna

Bio: Shane had to have some help with the challenge, because he is only 10 months old and not quite ready for big-boy tasks like holding a pen, talking in sentences or keeping slobber inside his mouth. He is pretty darn cute though. He's my brother's boy, but SEVERAL people have told me he looks a lot like I did as a tot, so that is probably why he is so cute :) His wonderful mom Anna has been a great addition to my family. My brother didn't marry up so much as out of the stratosphere. She tends to be quiet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a lot to say. She's a runner, and great with a camera (see below) and also really crafty. As in arts and crafty, not diabolical.

Anna and Shane

Second Day Challenge: "Spend at least an hour organizing something in your home (dresser, closet, desk, bathroom.) Throw away things you don't need. If you are already organized, write a note to a memorable teacher / Sunday School teacher. Locate his/her address, and put it in the mail today.

Initial Reaction: Oh thank God! No crazy hijinks! Bless you Anna and Shane. I was secretly worried I would have to drive to Ft. Smith for a day trip to visit them, and I spent enough time in the car collecting kisses yesterday to last me a while :) This is a great challenge, especially because Anna is a teacher. I want to write to Mrs. Kennedy, my middle school English teacher, but her address might be hard to find in a day. I'll also write to my old youth minister, Eric Hystad, so I can at least get his letter in the mail today.

Day One Recap, Part Two - The Unknowns

9:20 pm: I pick up Matt Davis and we cruise downtown for the second half of the evening. The one where I have ZERO friends lined up. Which means we have a little over 2 hours to get 15 girls to let me kiss them.

Matt is laid-back, super nice but also a lot smarter than he sometimes lets on. And not just book smart. Matt is crazy people-smart. He just has this God-given ability to connect with people and put them at ease regardless of the circumstance. And not only that, but he and his cousin (shout out to Chase) were kings of Bricktown back in the day, so his knowledge will prove invaluable. And to top it off, even though he barely acknowledges it, I find out he’s had two fillings put in today and is actually in a lot of pain. He fought through it for me, though. Friends like these are worth their weight in gold platinum unobtanium.

Kisses 16 and 17 – Brooke and Unnamed Friend. 9:56 pm, street outside City Walk. Matt advises me that City Walk doesn’t get going until about 11, so we stroll along the street outside to see what we can see. Matt has worked out a “sales pitch” with me – he will present the challenge to girls walking by (must be groups of at least two, no guys walking with). I am to stand there looking shy and cute. (I know I succeeded on one of those.) And we test it out. It works like gangbusters. Of all the girls we work up the nerve to talk to, we never walk away with a flat denial. In larger groups, not everyone would do it, but at least one would. These first two girls were sweet and bubbly, though the camera only worked on the second photo (of Brooke). This was the first of several meltdowns by the camera at crucial moments.

Kiss 18 – Hooters Waitress. 10:08 pm, OUTSIDE Hooters (we didn’t go in! They came out!) We thought we hit the jackpot here, there were two girls standing outside, so Matt presented the scenario and I got the first kiss. The second girl (in full Hooters attire) says she’ll do it, then adds, “But you should know I’m 17.” I think I took a step back and must have looked horrified, because Matt rushed in and said, “Ah, well, you’re not quite old enough.” I had two thoughts – “I almost kissed a minor!” and “What parent in their right mind lets their 17-year-old work at Hooters, in the teeny shorts and the tight top?” She had this beauty-queen sash on, with money pinned to it (from hostessing???) and volunteered to get some of the other waitresses to come out for a picture. Which was nice of her. But she came back and said they are all busy, so we move on.

Kiss 19 – Miranda. 10:14 pm, walkway by the Canal. Miranda and two gal pals walk by. Matt has figured out if we casually talk to folks walking past, they are more up for it because, unlike in a restaurant, they probably won’t see you again. These girls prove him right, although only Miranda is brave enough to let me peck her on the cheek.

Kisses 20 and 21 – Suspicious Girl and Amiable Friend. 10:22 pm, outside American Pub (or Bar, I forget). Easily the worst kiss of the night. Matt’s charm sort of bounced off the Teflon armor of Suspicious girl (in the polka dots). Her friend was all smiles but she makes clear with body language and interrupting Matt’s “pitch” that she isn’t sure of us. Matt tells her I need 15 more kisses before midnight, and then a minute later she asks me how many more kisses I need. I figure in my head quickly (and poorly) and say, “11.” She gives both of us the laser eye. “But you just said you need 15 more.” Matt and I share a sheepish look because we realize it looks like we are trying to lie to her, and we aren’t. We just don’t do math well. WE AREN’T MATHMATICIANS, SUSPICIOUS GIRL! She grills us some more about how many, exactly, kisses I need, and Matt and I both produce different numbers, and feel more embarrassed. But then her friend rumbles and she agrees to kiss me. Which isn’t the challenge, so I kiss her friend, and she kisses me, but the camera isn’t working, which adds to the awkwardness. She still lets me kiss her though, probably because even when they are pissed, Oklahomans just can’t be mean. They can make faces though.

Kisses 22 and 23 – Melanie and Lauren. 10:27 pm, parking meter across the street from City Walk. These two girls are standing by a parking meter, we assume holding the space for a friend. Matt ambles up and says, “Excuse me ladies?” “What!” Melanie fires back, with attitude. Matt and I exchange a worried look, and Matt backs up with his hands raised, “Whoa, look out now!” His small joke cracks the tension, and we soon are chatting with the girls. Melanie is a nurse at Children’s Hospital (but doesn’t know Briann). Lauren tells us her job but I have forgotten it. They are part of a bachelorette party. In fact, if we will wait about 5 minutes, the rest of the girls will arrive. And they’d love to help me out! Two kisses here, with more to come. Jackpot!

Kisses 24-27 – Bride-to-Be, Audra, Courtney, Shy Blonde Girl. 10:30-10:32, outside City Walk. The bachelorette party arrives with tons of girls. Tons! Melanie and Lauren do the introductions, and the Bride-to-be leans over for her kiss. I sort of thought she’d be exempt, because, you know, she’s getting married in two days, but hey, who am I to pass up a kiss? Matt gets three others to participate, though the rest of the group is too shy.

Matt and I are only 3 away from the goal, and we could probably continue our strategy of wandering the streets outside City Walk without having to go inside. We still have over an hour. But part of the challenge, to me, was facing my fear of clubs (they are scary places, OK). And Matt wanted to beat the CW too. So we went inside.

IT WAS VERY LOUD AND VERY DARK. Didn’t count on these two obstacles. The camera was basically worthless inside, it couldn’t get enough light to focus and thus wouldn’t take pictures. It was like the hospital waiting area all over again, I would kiss these girls for like 3 seconds (which is a long time when you are kissing) and the camera just wouldn’t snap a photo.

Kiss 28 – Girl Forced to Smooch by Friends. 10:45, balcony bar. Despite the pounding din, Matt talked to a group of three sitting at the bar. One of them shoved her friend towards me. “She’ll do it.” So I kiss her a couple times, but no photo.

Matt and I go sit at an enclave and try to figure the camera out. We take a picture. Which shows, by the way, that City Walk is about more than booze and random hook-ups. As you can see, they took the time to stock their library-esque shelf with several Reader’s Digest Condensed Books and tasteful wicker knickknacks.

We leave and run into Brooke and Unnamed Friend. I wave at them, and they stare back at me confused until I see this look hit their faces. “Ohmygaw-thatistheguywhojustkissedmeanhourago!” It’s quite a look.

Kisses 29 and 30 – Jordan and Good Hair Friend. 10:58 pm, walkway outside cutely-named dance room. Jordan is super nice and also super not bothered by getting close to strangers, so she lets me kiss her a number of times while Matt fights with the camera. Her cheek was another very, very smooth one. I kiss her friend too, but no pic. Matt and I high-five reaching the goal, but decide to go above and beyond.

Kisses 31 – 33 – NOTMiranda, Curly Blonde, Awkward Brunette. 11:01 pm, another bar (City Walk has one every five feet). Matt soldiers on, sharing the sales pitch with three friends sitting together. I look at one and excitedly wave, thinking it is Miranda from earlier. Matt asks if she is Miranda. She shakes her head. She is NOTMiranda. If you look at her picture, and compare it with the picture of Miranda, perhaps you can understand why I confused them. They both have dark hair, one-sleeve shirts and similar face structure. Maybe it was Miranda, just minus the necklace? Anyway, they all take pictures with me but only NOTMiranda’s turns out.

Kiss 34 – Snaggletooth. 11:05 pm, another bar. Yes, that name is really awful and mean, but it’s 3:00 am and I’m still typing this recap and she had pretty jacked up teeth. So I’m calling her what I want to. The Bachelorette party found us and asked for a return favor – we had to buy a dirty martini for the bride-to-be. Only the bar in that particular dance area doesn’t serve dirty martini’s, so we have to walk across CW to a different bar, which is where we found Snaggletooth. Matt talked to her while I got the drink, and she was shy but giggly, so I kissed her, but the camera went off a little too late on this one.

OK. After 34 gals, Matt and I called it a night and left, as victorious Kisser and Wingman. And I’m calling it a night and going to bed. Thanks for reading my very long recap.

Day One Recap, Part 1 - The Knowns

As I sit down to write this, my butt muscles are sore from all the lunges this morning. But it was a Really  Fun  Day. Before I take you through the play by play, here are the major things I came away with today:

-       Girls’ cheeks are really soft. Like, I guess I should have expected it, but that surprised me a number of times.

-       Along with that, lips are super sensitive. I don’t do a lot of kissing (till today!) and I just didn’t realize how much sensation a brief contact between cheek and lips can cause.

-       A good wingman is important for a task like this. A fantastic wingman is unstoppable! Major props to Matt Davis for flying with me the second half of the evening and crushing the challenge to bits! (Wingwoman props to Robin for getting the entire female sales staff of Barnes and Noble to let me smooch ‘em.)

-       Holding a kiss pose for the camera for several seconds makes everything awkward. Note to self- get a camera that doesn’t jam up at every crucial moment.

-       Lastly, thank God for Bachelorette parties! Six kisses in one fell swoop. (Though the bride-to-be and another engaged gal were the first ones to volunteer, and the single ones had to be coaxed. Weird.)

-      

Alright. On to the details!

6:10 am- I was up early (for me), out of the house in time to greet the rising sun. I went for a warm up walk, then I did 10 of each type of workout (lunges, push-ups, and crunches) and walked for a bit to catch my breath, then did it again. It really only took 15 – 20 minutes, so that wasn’t so bad. The hardest one was the push-ups. After a year of semi-focused effort at the gym, I’ve improved my push-up skills from poor to fair. So those wore me down.

9:00 am- I start texting all the girls in my phone. I come up with 18 girls who are a) single and b) close enough friends I won’t freak them out. I send out a vague text, asking if they can help me with “something.” Several respond back immediately, and I spill the beans. The more I text, the more excited I get. After a while (if my boss is reading this, after a state-permitted five minute break), I decide I have got to put the phone down and focus on work if I am to get anything done. I also send out a text asking for a wingman.

10:00 am- my co-worker Lance rats me out. I go to his office to say hi to him and, with four people in his office, he says, “Ben has an announcement to make.” I shoot lasers at him with my eyes, but tell my co-workers about the challenge. They chuckle. The new girl makes herself scarce.

1:00 pm- I have started a scratch pad with all the times / places my gal pals will be. I think I can connect with 10-12 by 9 pm, and then go out to a club and try to get the rest. My friend Matt Davis rises to the challenge and texts me that he’ll be my wingman for the evening. This will turn out to be much more crucial than I realize.

4:30 pm- I finalize plans for meeting my kissing friends. I calculate that I will need to kiss 4-5 girls every hour between 5 pm and midnight to make it.

Kiss 1 – Morgan. 4:48 pm, outside St. Anthony’s hospital. I know this will sound overly sentimental, but the first one was special. The camera worked perfect. Morgan was a good sport and didn’t make me feel in the least awkward. I noticed how smooth and soft her cheek was, and all the way back to my car, it was like I could still feel the pressure on my lips from the kiss. Have you ever had a light flash in your eye, and you could still see the ghost image in your vision for several seconds? It was like that, only with the sensation of the kiss. OK, make fun of me, whatever. That’s how it felt.

Kisses 2 and 3 – Jennifer and Samantha. 5:24 pm, outside the Starbucks at 15^th and Broadway. These girls were great sports, because I could tell they weren’t completely thrilled at the concept, but they helped me out anyway. I had a little spare time, so I was able to chat with them a bit and found out Jennifer got a new job – congrats Jennifer!

Kiss 4 – Jaynie. 5:39 pm, inside Karv Salon. I caught Jaynie right before she left. I actually hadn’t texted her about it, I called about 2 minutes before showing up and surprised her with my request. She was great about it, though, and I also got signed up for my next haircut!

Kiss 5 – Jenny. 6:11 pm, in lobby of Baptist Hospital. Jenny met me right before her shift started, and we asked this sweet older woman in the waiting area if she could take our picture. She tried FOUR TIMES and couldn’t quite figure it out. Andrea eventually showed up and took the picture. I am sweating in this picture because I have just kissed Jenny FOUR TIMES and EVERYONE in the waiting room was staring at us the entire time.

Kiss 6 – Andrea. 6:14 pm, same lobby. Andrea was a great sport too, and had some great news. In two days she pays off all her medical bills. I think she should call in to Dave Ramsey and have a good ole screamfest. “Freedom!” After the picture, I briefly considered going around the waiting area and asking for kiss volunteers, but one look at the people there cured me. They were all sad and depressed-looking. Maybe because their loved ones were in pain?? Geez, brighten up.

Kiss 7 – Melissa. 6:27 pm, Mama Roja’s restaurant by Lake Hefner. Melissa was there with a relative, and we snapped this picture in a hurry because their seat buzzer thing went off. Melissa wanted to know what I would get for winning the challenge, and it occurred to me I perhaps let my friends give me ridiculous challenges a little too freely. I should have charged for it! As I was leaving the restaurant, a large group of Melissa’s family passed me, making me glad we got the picture before her folks arrived. It could have been real awkward kissing her right in front of her dad.

Kiss 8 – Sarah, 7:13 pm, her home in Yukon. Me taking some of these pictures sure is resulting in blurry photos, huh? It was good to catch up with Sarah. She sent me this text when I asked for a kiss. “Well, I don’t know Ben. I require a lengthy courtship before any kissing is involved! LOL, since I know you’re not a slimeball, I’ll make an allowance.” Thanks!

Deep thoughts while driving. Headed back to OKC from Yukon, this thought occurred to me. I was rushing from place to place, trying to make every person I met feel special and important even though I didn’t have much time with them, because I was asking them to trust me with something special, something that mattered. My throat was starting to feel sore and my energy level was dragging, and I still had a lot more people to schmooze (or smooch) before the night was done. And it hit me. “This is probably what a politician feels like running for office. Replace votes for kisses, and it’s pretty much the same thing.” This day greatly reduces my chances of running for office.

Kisses 9 and 10 – Briann & Shyla. 7:49 pm, McAlesters on Memorial Rd. These two lovely ladies were having dinner, and kindly let me crash it for some kissing action. Briann is also getting a new job soon. Congrats! I really wanted to kiss Shyla, because this whole thing is Jason’s idea and I thought it might repay him ever so slightly to see me kissing his girlfriend. So Ha! Jason! I kissed your girlfriend! (Thanks again Shyla.)

Kiss 11 – Robin. 8:33 pm, Barnes & Noble. Robin pretty much saved the day here. I was running behind my 4-girls-an-hour quota, really feeling discouraged and tired. She whipped her fellow B&N staff friends into shape and I knocked out four more girls in quick succession. And we got to visit. And I left here halfway to the goal. Plus it was the first time I kissed absolute strangers, which, hey, how many of you can say that?

Kisses 12 – 15 – Aleasha, Nancy, Rachel, and Taylor, 8:35 – 8:45. B&N Staff.

The race begins

Man, I spent what felt like an hour and a half texting all the girls I know this morning. First of all, pretty hard to explain in a text message "I need to kiss you, but I'm not a creep," second of all, my lady friends are scattered over the whole city, so it looks like I'll be driving all over the place tonight. My goal is to get 15 kisses by 9:00 from friends, and then I can move on to recruiting strangers for a smooch. My friend Matt volunteered to be my wingman. I think we are headed to City Walk to try to find some kissable gals.

And I'm off work now, so the kissing can begin. My stomach is tingling. This. Is. Crazy!

Day One - Jason

Bio: Jason is my recent roommate, close friend, and brother in the faith. He is currently traipsing about the jungles of Nicaragua. Jason is from good stock – farm boy from Anadarko. One word to describe him is “solid.” He is reliable, disciplined, and totally straight-as-an-arrow. One time he (gently) got on to me for calling in sick to work when I was really just working on homework. He gave me a mournful look from his brown cow-eyes and I felt like Jeffrey Dahmer. Jason worked at a gym as an exercise technician until he left the country, and I would go in sometimes and get some free training. Despite his many great qualities, in the gym he is merciless and even ruthless. Words like “enough, I’m tired, no more” simply don’t mean anything to him but “one more.” I’m curious to see if his challenge involves anything physical.

So here goes. *Insert sound of opening envelope here*

And my first day’s challenge says, 

“Ben, what fun this is! It’s an honor to have your first day! Alright, it’s Friday, you work. Before work you must do 50 push-ups and 50 crunches and 50 lunges.

Okay, after work the fun begins. It’s a Friday night! Your challenge. You must kiss 30 women on the cheek. That is 30 different women! Enjoy! You can do this! You’re a man in your 20’s!!!

- Jason”

First reaction- I think I’m blushing. Oh gosh. The physical exercise is not so bad – I will just get up extra early so I have time to get them all in. But kissing 30 women!! Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap! At least he doesn’t restrict me to only women I don’t know. My first thought is, “Whew, my Mom counts,” but that still leaves 29. Grandma’s up in Stillwater, but that’s an hour up and an hour back. Where am I going to find 30 women in one night? And you know, I sort of do want them to be eligible women, not just all relatives or grannies. As a fallback, I could just make a kissing train through my Grandma’s assisted living facility. There’s definitely 30 ladies there.

I like how he ends with “You’re a man in your 20’s”, which both reminds me that I won’t be able to say that in a month AND implies that if I were to do this in August, those 30 ladies would stop me and be like, “No, I’m sorry, you can’t kiss my cheek. You’re in your 30s.” Chuckle. I also like how he’s got me kissing 30 girls, but not on the lips! That might be inappropriate. ;)

OK. Pride is setting in now. I can do this, and I won’t stoop to using relatives. Here’s my goal. From the time I get off work till the stroke of midnight, 30 eligible, single ladies. Guess I better dig out my chapstick.