As I sit down to write this, my butt muscles are sore from all the lunges this morning. But it was a Really Fun Day. Before I take you through the play by play, here are the major things I came away with today:
- Girls’ cheeks are really soft. Like, I guess I should have expected it, but that surprised me a number of times.
- Along with that, lips are super sensitive. I don’t do a lot of kissing (till today!) and I just didn’t realize how much sensation a brief contact between cheek and lips can cause.
- A good wingman is important for a task like this. A fantastic wingman is unstoppable! Major props to Matt Davis for flying with me the second half of the evening and crushing the challenge to bits! (Wingwoman props to Robin for getting the entire female sales staff of Barnes and Noble to let me smooch ‘em.)
- Holding a kiss pose for the camera for several seconds makes everything awkward. Note to self- get a camera that doesn’t jam up at every crucial moment.
- Lastly, thank God for Bachelorette parties! Six kisses in one fell swoop. (Though the bride-to-be and another engaged gal were the first ones to volunteer, and the single ones had to be coaxed. Weird.)
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Alright. On to the details!
6:10 am- I was up early (for me), out of the house in time to greet the rising sun. I went for a warm up walk, then I did 10 of each type of workout (lunges, push-ups, and crunches) and walked for a bit to catch my breath, then did it again. It really only took 15 – 20 minutes, so that wasn’t so bad. The hardest one was the push-ups. After a year of semi-focused effort at the gym, I’ve improved my push-up skills from poor to fair. So those wore me down.
9:00 am- I start texting all the girls in my phone. I come up with 18 girls who are a) single and b) close enough friends I won’t freak them out. I send out a vague text, asking if they can help me with “something.” Several respond back immediately, and I spill the beans. The more I text, the more excited I get. After a while (if my boss is reading this, after a state-permitted five minute break), I decide I have got to put the phone down and focus on work if I am to get anything done. I also send out a text asking for a wingman.
10:00 am- my co-worker Lance rats me out. I go to his office to say hi to him and, with four people in his office, he says, “Ben has an announcement to make.” I shoot lasers at him with my eyes, but tell my co-workers about the challenge. They chuckle. The new girl makes herself scarce.
1:00 pm- I have started a scratch pad with all the times / places my gal pals will be. I think I can connect with 10-12 by 9 pm, and then go out to a club and try to get the rest. My friend Matt Davis rises to the challenge and texts me that he’ll be my wingman for the evening. This will turn out to be much more crucial than I realize.
4:30 pm- I finalize plans for meeting my kissing friends. I calculate that I will need to kiss 4-5 girls every hour between 5 pm and midnight to make it.
Kiss 1 – Morgan. 4:48 pm, outside St. Anthony’s hospital. I know this will sound overly sentimental, but the first one was special. The camera worked perfect. Morgan was a good sport and didn’t make me feel in the least awkward. I noticed how smooth and soft her cheek was, and all the way back to my car, it was like I could still feel the pressure on my lips from the kiss. Have you ever had a light flash in your eye, and you could still see the ghost image in your vision for several seconds? It was like that, only with the sensation of the kiss. OK, make fun of me, whatever. That’s how it felt.
Kisses 2 and 3 – Jennifer and Samantha. 5:24 pm, outside the Starbucks at 15th and Broadway. These girls were great sports, because I could tell they weren’t completely thrilled at the concept, but they helped me out anyway. I had a little spare time, so I was able to chat with them a bit and found out Jennifer got a new job – congrats Jennifer!
Kiss 4 – Jaynie. 5:39 pm, inside Karv Salon. I caught Jaynie right before she left. I actually hadn’t texted her about it, I called about 2 minutes before showing up and surprised her with my request. She was great about it, though, and I also got signed up for my next haircut!
Kiss 5 – Jenny. 6:11 pm, in lobby of Baptist Hospital. Jenny met me right before her shift started, and we asked this sweet older woman in the waiting area if she could take our picture. She tried FOUR TIMES and couldn’t quite figure it out. Andrea eventually showed up and took the picture. I am sweating in this picture because I have just kissed Jenny FOUR TIMES and EVERYONE in the waiting room was staring at us the entire time.
Kiss 6 – Andrea. 6:14 pm, same lobby. Andrea was a great sport too, and had some great news. In two days she pays off all her medical bills. I think she should call in to Dave Ramsey and have a good ole screamfest. “Freedom!” After the picture, I briefly considered going around the waiting area and asking for kiss volunteers, but one look at the people there cured me. They were all sad and depressed-looking. Maybe because their loved ones were in pain?? Geez, brighten up.
Kiss 7 – Melissa. 6:27 pm, Mama Roja’s restaurant by Lake Hefner. Melissa was there with a relative, and we snapped this picture in a hurry because their seat buzzer thing went off. Melissa wanted to know what I would get for winning the challenge, and it occurred to me I perhaps let my friends give me ridiculous challenges a little too freely. I should have charged for it! As I was leaving the restaurant, a large group of Melissa’s family passed me, making me glad we got the picture before her folks arrived. It could have been real awkward kissing her right in front of her dad.
Kiss 8 – Sarah, 7:13 pm, her home in Yukon. Me taking some of these pictures sure is resulting in blurry photos, huh? It was good to catch up with Sarah. She sent me this text when I asked for a kiss. “Well, I don’t know Ben. I require a lengthy courtship before any kissing is involved! LOL, since I know you’re not a slimeball, I’ll make an allowance.” Thanks!
Deep thoughts while driving. Headed back to OKC from Yukon, this thought occurred to me. I was rushing from place to place, trying to make every person I met feel special and important even though I didn’t have much time with them, because I was asking them to trust me with something special, something that mattered. My throat was starting to feel sore and my energy level was dragging, and I still had a lot more people to schmooze (or smooch) before the night was done. And it hit me. “This is probably what a politician feels like running for office. Replace votes for kisses, and it’s pretty much the same thing.” This day greatly reduces my chances of running for office.
Kisses 9 and 10 – Briann & Shyla. 7:49 pm, McAlesters on Memorial Rd. These two lovely ladies were having dinner, and kindly let me crash it for some kissing action. Briann is also getting a new job soon. Congrats! I really wanted to kiss Shyla, because this whole thing is Jason’s idea and I thought it might repay him ever so slightly to see me kissing his girlfriend. So Ha! Jason! I kissed your girlfriend! (Thanks again Shyla.)
Kiss 11 – Robin. 8:33 pm, Barnes & Noble. Robin pretty much saved the day here. I was running behind my 4-girls-an-hour quota, really feeling discouraged and tired. She whipped her fellow B&N staff friends into shape and I knocked out four more girls in quick succession. And we got to visit. And I left here halfway to the goal. Plus it was the first time I kissed absolute strangers, which, hey, how many of you can say that?
Kisses 12 – 15 – Aleasha, Nancy, Rachel, and Taylor, 8:35 – 8:45. B&N Staff.
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